Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Let's lower the boom on supranationality...

The more I read of supranational organisations (UN, EU, IOC et al) the more I come to realise the sheer filthy rottenness that pervades them. No matter how noble the original intent, human greed and perversity will eventually turn them into their own antithesis (I except the EU from that last observation, as that's on course to become precisely what was intended, fates preserve our nation).

Whilst cruising Little Man, What Now, I found this and it struck a clear and immediate chord. I urge anyone who's sick of being taxed and systematically bilked/arse-raped to fund other people's ego-trips/vanity projects/gravy trains to join this one now.

And the good news is...

My personality is on the rare side...

Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ISTP)

Your personality type is reserved, methodical, spirited, and intense.

Only about 6% of all people have your personality, including 3% of all women and 8% of all men

You are Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, and Perceiving.

H/T The Cynical Optimist

Monday, April 14, 2008

Listen hard, and you can hear pants being pissed...

This was published last week by Freedom 2 Choose, a pro-choice organisation dedicated to the amendment of the smoker ban in public places:

Hackers Target Freedom Organisations
The websites of two prominent pro choice organisations campaigning against smoking bans were yesterday targeted by hackers in a "pharming" incident that redirected traffic to the NHS Smokefree website. The DNS poisoning, a high level and sophisticated hacking technique, affected all UK based internet service providers.

Andy Davis, Vice Chairman of Freedom to Choose, one of the affected websites, says: "It appears that Freedom To Choose has annoyed someone high up, it seems they don't want the truth to get out."

Stephanie Stahl, President of Forces International, claims: "To re-direct our UK visitors to an anti-smoking website shows that the antismoking movement must be very nervous about the information our pro-freedom groups provide.

Domain names are sacred on the free-spirited information super highway; we trust that those responsible for this serious violation will be identified and held accountable. "

Both groups campaign against government interference in private life and property, maintaining that blanket smoking bans are based on fraudulent scientific claims about passive smoking. According to Andy Davis: "5 out of 6 studies show second hand smoke to be entirely harmless. In the UK the ban is needlessly devastating the hospitality and entertainment industries, yet modern air filtration can remove 9.97% of airborne particles and make indoor air cleaner than outdoor, regardless of smoking."

The hacking incident has been reported to the relevant authorities and is under investigation.

As was pointed out on 'England Expects', you won't have seen that in any mainstream journals.

Well, the cowardly little fuckers have just done it again tonight. If you click on the F2C link to the right, you'll go straight to Smokefree England; the quangoid wankfest dedicated to telling everyone how great it is that 1700+ pubs have gone to the wall since last July.

Someone, somewhere seems to be getting frightened. Good.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

How my heart swelled with pride...

As I watched the deeply moving spectacle of a Red Chinese goon squad going large on the streets of the nation's capital.

Would any other country in the world tolerate this absolute fucking outrage? No. Why not? Because in other countries, even their lefties retain some grasp of patriotism, national pride and national dignity.

Unfortunately, one of the unique characteristics of the British political left is their absolute loathing of their own country, their own compatriots and their own culture. They seem utterly incapable of the simple affections that bind everyone else together, to the extent that they must abase themselves and, by extension, the rest of us before any foreign shibboleth.

Hence the repellant spectacle played out in London. I still feel sick.

Friday, April 04, 2008

Just about right...

Yes, the year Pink Floyd released 'Dark Side of the Moon'. Now let me go home to a Britain that hadn't gone completely fucking mad...

You Belong in 1973

Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all!

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Yet another modest proposal...

This one on the topic of revenge, or just retribution if you prefer. If you look to the right of my illiterate drivellings, you will note a list of links to the stars of the bloggerati. Frequently, when addressing the inadequacies and peccadillos of our 'leaders', they're prone to suggest methods by which we may be rid of these turgid titwanks. These usually take the form of a variation on the simple 'rope, lamp-post, gibbet, hang 'em high' schtick. This is well enough so far as it goes, after all the subjects will be dead which is the primary objective of the excercise. However, we'll be forced to discover if they stink worse dead than alive, and we'll still have to look at the bastards. On the upside, they're (eventually) biodegradable, and if there's a severe cold snap then the bluetits'll have something to peck at.

Nevertheless, I'm bound to ask if this is sufficient. For individuals whose use and application of vitriol not only provides a daily diet of delight, but occasionally reaches transcendent levels; the methods of disposal suggested display a baffling paucity of imagination.

True, there are notable exceptions. Devil's Kitchen for example favours the use of sharpened cockroaches and candiru fish. Admittedly, the thought of one bunch of cockroaches being slashed to death by another group of cockroaches, and one pack of ghastly parasites having their genitals colonised by another has a pleasing symmetry; nonetheless the former seems far too labour intensive and the latter smacks of cruelty to animals (the fish, not the Westminster Shower of Shit).

Mr. Eugenides on the other hand once suggested feeding Kommissar Patsy Hewitt feet first into the whirling props of an aero-engine (it may have been a DC3 I can't off hand remember), but why ruin a decent engine and possibly damage a classic aircraft?

No, it simply won't do. We need a new and better solution, something that contributes to the gaiety and well-being of our nation; an equivalent to the re-opening of the theatres after the Restoration, but with a grand-guignol twist. What might it be? Ah! I have it! Public execution. Not for us the dullness of stretched necks and flying giblets however, oh no. Let's look at this from a fresh perspective, let's re-invent British barbarity for the 21st. Century.

This little fellow is a trebuchet. Our ancestors used them for bunging bloody great rocks and diseased carcasses at one another over great distances, and latterly St. Jeremy de Clarkson found they could fire a scabby little hatchback quite a fair old way.

Picture it. The time, a mild, warm evening in late August. The place, the White Cliffs of Dover. Sundry vile politicos are waiting in a pen, when one of their number is selected, dipped in napthalene, attached to the trebuchet, ignited and catapulted out over the English Channel.

What better way to spend an evening? Sitting on the tailgate of the Range Rover, Fortnum's hamper open at your side, sipping chilled Pol Roger as another little piggy flies shrieking over your head in the direction of it's spiritual(EU trough)home. In addition, possibly even with the naked eye our European neighbours will be able to share this example of what happens to underminers of British liberty.

Ahh, I hear you say, but Mac old boy, is this inclusive enough? Does it not smack of elitism? Will the vast majority of the people be able to engage with the concept? A valid question my dears, and in keeping with the interactive spirit of our age, I have another possibility with which to tantalise you.

A little more down market I grant you, but bear with me. This is a very simple mangonel. The Romans used this to chuck smaller things around, but with quite lethal effect if Tacitus is to be believed. But what shall we throw with it? Politicos? Nah, not nearly big enough. Wait a minute! What if we used it to throw things at politicos and assorted quango-weasels etc. etc.? Wouldn't that be fun? But how to make sure everyone gets a fair shake? How can it be done?

Simple my dears, our celebrity targets are hung on metal frames mounted on barges. The mangonels are a public amenity, permanently fixed at regular intervals along the bank of the river/canal whatever. Then members of the public can come along to scheduled sailings, bringing their own ammunition if they wish, say, balloons filled with stagnant urine; and commence au festivale! Or perhaps vending machines could be added to the bankside, filled with more imaginative fare, I don't know, putrefying roadkill, bags of dogshit, broken glass... The possibilities, as Eddie Izzard might say, are endless.

Feel free to add your suggestions, or even let your imaginations soar, and up the ante. I think I may be on to something here.

No! No! You bloody fools!

Come left to two zero-zero degrees and attack! ATTACK DAMN YOU!