Thursday, May 08, 2008

It's official, we're all a bunch of wasters

Well, well, well. According to WRAP, the thoroughly risible quango formed by our piss-fuck-awful government to advise on packaging (packaging, PACKAGING, sweet Jesus, is there nothing better to spend our taxes on?), we regularly grow whole fruit crops in our window boxes before deliberately burning them, and often rustle livestock off local farms and drive them directly into landfills.

OK, I'm exaggerating, but the original bleating by this pack of shit-a-beds isn't any more readily digestible. I forget the exact amount, but I think they claim that we throw away 1.4 million pots of yoghurt unopened, whole chickens and even 400,000 odd ready meals daily. So what did they do? Go out and count them personally?

I saw this story covered on C4 news, C5 news, Working Lunch and Al Beeb One O'Clock. Is it just me, or is anyone else getting royally fucked off with the way in which these numbers are simply reeled off without question as if they were some sort of divine revelation. This is a trend which is enabling those interfering shits of which I spoke last Thursday. It started with willfully mendacious shite factories like ASH and runs like this:

1: Pull a number out of arse,

2: Double it,

3: Bang it out under the guise of 'research' or 'studies',

4: Repeat until the MSM take up the chorus,

Return to step 1 and repeat as long as the funding holds up.

Apart from the piss-poor showing by our commentariat in allowing this practice to flourish, I really am sick of these bastard parasites being paid from my taxes to nag the living shit out of me. In the final analysis I bought the stuff, it therefore, is mine. Got that? Mine. If I want to dump 'Taste the difference' Chicken Nibletz into my garden pond, or nail gammon steaks to the shed that's my affair. When will you people shut the fuck up and bugger off?

Mac the Knife prepares to attend to the Chief Executive of WRAP earlier today.


Snowolf said...

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

You see, you may have gone out and bought the gammon steaks you're going to nail to your shed (do you have planning permission?), but what you're forgetting is that the money you are spending on said pork products is not yours, it is part of a very generous allowance that our good Prime Minister gives you out of the good of his heart.

Don't think in any way that just because, after enormous deductions, the money you take home in your pay packet is in any way yours. It ain't. Gordie is just letting you look after it for him.

Think yourself lucky that you have that ability. I understand the FSA is working on a national menu, that everyone will have to eat from, buying the ingredients from a state owned shop, using centrally issued food vouchers. No cash allowed. I'm looking forward to Saturdays; tripe and custard with spotted dick and onion gravy. Mmmmm, yum. Well it is a menu of national unity dreamed up by civil servants.

Snowolf said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mac the Knife said...

Of course. How could I be so stupid? I must write a fulsome apology to Spongebrain Fudgepants without delay. I'm indebted to you Wolfie, for showing me the error of my Libertarian ways. Mea Culpa, mea maxima culpa... :)

Call me Infidel said...

this pack of shit-a-beds

Mac that expression cracked me up. I sat there watching this drivel about what a bunch of idlers and wasters we all are and thought the exact same thing. Where did they get these bullshit figures from? Like you I believe they pulled them from their rectum.

I was reminded of being back at school where we would regularly be chastised about wasting food "because there are children starving in Africa" to which I invariably thought to myself "well give this crap to them and stop foisting it on me" I was a cruel and heartless bastard from an early age sorry to say.
However to return to the topic I am highly dubious about these figures. There is a scandalous amount of waste but ZaNuLabour believes it's "education and propaganda ministry" the BBC can shame us into change. It fits perfectly with their preachy, holier than thou, control freak mentality.

Mac the Knife said...


I'm sick to death with being preached at by these people, I mean seriously, who the fuck are they?

Why aren't they using their lives to do something productive? We need to take a torch to the quango mafia and get our lives back... :)

roman said...

Caught a bit on R4 late this afternoon pointing out that WRAP included potato peelings (???) in their estimate of food chucked out (yes, well, I've never found potato peelings that tasty), and that The Indie and others had grossly over-represented the other waste statistics.

Mac the Knife said...

*sighs* No surprises there then. They have to justify those well-salaried non-jobs somehow though eh? Trebles all round chaps!