Thursday, July 31, 2008

A part of me died tonight...

Trixy has named her secret love.

I leave you with my special correspondent:

HT The Hellenic Horrorspotter.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Compare and contrast...

L/Cpl Kenneth Rowe RAVC

Lance Corporal Kenneth Rowe, 24, who was shot dead by Taliban insurgents on Thursday, had been due to leave front-line duties the day before, but had persuaded his superiors to let him stay because he was worried about the lack of cover.

Michael Martin, 'Speaker' of the Whorehouse of Commons

...It shows just how Michael Martin has enriched himself and his family at our expense. In many ways the Speaker symbolises all that is wrong with our parliamentarians, the arrogant sense of self entitlement, the dodgy payments to family and friends, the desperate desire to keep it all in the shadows and out of sight of the voters.

I have nothing to add.

H/T Guido, DK.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

The Essence of Libertarianism

A subtle hint, earlier today

Neatly encapsulated by the mighty Wolfers ...

In other words, just fuck off and leave me alone, will you? If I came up to you and continually flicked you on the cheek, you'd ask me to stop, if I didn't quit it, you'd end up smacking me one.

Says it all really.

Sticky questions...

Lahvly pahty dahling...

The estimable Nameless One drove me in this direction last night, and makes the salient points in his usual pithy and concise fashion.

As Mr Glass, 24, was introduced to the Premier, he laid a glue-covered hand on his sleeve.

He also took the opportunity to urge Mr Brown to change his mind on the Heathrow airport expansion.

Mr Glass told the assembled guests: 'Do not worry - this is a non-violent protest. We cannot shake away climate change like you can just shake away my arm.'

Mr Glass, who had smuggled pouches of glue into the event in his underwear, added later that Mr Brown laughed off the protest.

'He was just grinning about it,' he said. 'He didn't seem to take me seriously.'

Mr Glass, an invited guest, was allowed to stay at the reception for 40 minutes after the stunt. When he left, he tried to glue himself to the gates of Downing Street - but had his hand detached by a police officer.

'I didn't have much glue left by that point,' he said

So far, so fucking stupid. I was left with one of those nagging 'incomplete puzzle' moments however. What was this sub-student-union oaf doing in Downing Street anyway?

My daily trawl yielded the answer courtesy of The Englishman:

Mr Glass was invited to Downing Street to receive an award from the Sheila McKechnie Foundation for his protesting work with Plane Stupid

Oh? And what, pray is that all about? Have a guess.

The Sheila McKechnie Foundation is dedicated to equipping campaigners with the skills they need to change the world. Campaigners are setting the agenda for decision makers in new and diverse ways - passion, creativity and vision are powerful forces for change.

Leaving aside the merits or otherwise of the Sheila McKechnie Foundation, what in bloody, bleeding hellfire is anyone doing being feted for 'protesting work' on behalf of a highly contentious bunch of enviro-tossers at No. 10?

Awarding and honouring individuals who have made a notable contribution to the common good is one thing, but throwing bun fights for a bunch of deluded fuckwits who run around deliberately making life hell for Joe Soap is quite something else.

If he'd glued Gordo's rat trap mouth shut, and performed an encore on his own airways I'd have been the first to applaud, but as he did neither, fuck him.

By the way, what was the award? Brainless, Luddite Fuckstick of the Month?

Better the day dawn when we have governments capable of understanding that being partial to, or demonstrating partiality for pressure groups outside the democratic process is Not a Good Thing.

H/Ts The Nameless One, The Englishman.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Leave Them Kids Alone, for fuck's sake...

A Kid, earlier today.

Break out the jackboots, fluff up the nappies, everyone's favourite authoritarian pisswipe is on the march again.

Sir Liam Donaldson said that among drivers who drank up to the present limit of 80mg per 100ml of blood, the chances of an accident were two and a half times greater for teenagers than for older people.

Drivers aged 17 to 19 had 1,080 drink-drive accidents in 2005. Sir Liam, who presented his annual report yesterday, said that a zero alcohol limit for young drivers would help to reduce this figure. “I’m aware that this is a controversial recommendation, but I believe it will save lives,” he said.

Between 1976 and 1979, I belonged to a wide, thriving circle of friends and acquaintances ranging in age from about 18 to 30 (no, I'm not making it up). Two or three nights a week, we all congregated in the Lounge Bar of The Bridge Hotel in Scunthorpe and had a bloody good time. Owing to the way Scunge is spread out, most of us had to drive to get there.

This naturally meant rigorous booze management, but making two pints last for three and a half hours is no big trick when the company and the conversation are up to the mark; and in those days they were.

We're talking about a rotating circle of about thirty people over a three year period. How many of us were involved in drink-related accidents? How many of us got nicked for drink-driving? Go on, have a guess. No? Well I'll tell you. No-one. Nemo. Nil. We just had a bloody good time, socialising, being young, having fun and trying to engineer as much sex as humanly possible.

In short, we did what young adults have done since the inception of the internal combustion engine, and damn fine times they were too.

I wonder if Sir Liam Himmler did things like that, or was he closeted up in his dark smelly bedroom, wanking frantically over the thought that when he was Chief Medical Officer all this fun and frivolity was jolly well going to stop.

If it was the former, I wonder if he'd want to grow up now, in the spineless, fuckless, spitless, shitless, soul-leeching pleasure bereft wasteland he and his dire little socialist neo-puritans are inflicting on us normal people.

Sir Liam, fuck off. Please. Just fuck off.

The only way anyone learns to be responsible is by the excercise of responsibility. I did it, and so did my friends thirty years ago. Young people are not complete fucking idiots, and if you, and patrician authoritarian pricks like you stop trying to keep them infants they may pleasantly surprise you.

I really can't stand these people any longer, anyone who advocates punishing the many for the sins of the few is a lazy-minded unimaginative ball sac, who deserves to have their face sawn off, nailed to a stick and used to clean decent people's lavatories.


the present limit of 80mg per 100ml of blood

I'm seeing more and more references to this. I wonder if we aren't being softened up for a little more EU 'harmonisation'? One to watch I think...

Is 'e 'avin a larf?

A subtle hint, earlier today.

This character's attracted comment lately, not least of all from DK.

The Morningstar steered me this way, and I read the post in all it's jaw-dropping, collectivist bollockry.

Don't read EVIL TORIES, they WON'T LISTEN, squeaks DES shrilly. This from someone who has comments disabled.

Can't hear any dissent, eh Comrade? At least not until you've got those cattle-trucks ready to roll. Siberia every hour, on the hour. Just like the good old days.

I admit, I thought it was a wind-up. No-one could be that fucking thick, that illiterate, that divorced from simple reality. Could they?


Thursday, July 10, 2008

Argh! He Got Me!

A bushwacked Mac the Knife, earlier today

I have been tagged by the Abominable Pooter, and tasked with writing a story in six words (I ask you). So here it is:

...although perversely, my nipples never recovered.

Right then. Lacking Edwin Hesselthwite's scruples, who else can I screw around with? Ah, I know...

Ambush Predator, she didn't see me coming.

The Remittance Man, no delegating to the jolly old Havildar.

Snowolf, discard that sheep's clothing I tell you!

Right. That's enough damage for one day, time for a bottle of Burning Gold from my Fridge of Evil.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

UKIP - faster than a speeding webgeek...

Hard on the heels of my last post, the UKIP webmaster added a few embellishments of his own.

Happiness is...

...enjoying priviledges you've stripped away from nearly fifteen million other people...

Just in, attempted murder in the House of Commons bar!

Shocked witnesses stood by open mouthed as two terrorists carried out a violent and desperate attack on staff in The Stranger's Bar at the palace of Westminster today.

Without any warning they drew two weapons and ignited them before discharging poisonous fumes indiscriminately around the room. The weapons, known as 'cigarettes' produce a substance on ignition known as 'smoke'. According to informed sources, this 'smoke' is ten million times more deadly than Zyklon B.

All the other people in the room must have been immediately incapacitated or killed, as absolutely no attempt was made to stop or apprehend these inhuman monsters. At the time of writing, they are still thought to be at large. Along with the rest of the fucking crooks.

Deep gratitude to Saint Trixy the Brill...

Friday, July 04, 2008

I know, I know...

Mr. Washington, after an encounter with a juvenile prat, earlier today.

It's not Big, and it's not Clever. Sorry America, I just couldn't resist the temptation.

On a more serious note, thank you for a free world. Nothing more needs be said.

A fairly important document, earlier today.

A very happy Fourth to you all.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

How do you say 'Fuck you' in Polish?

A symbol of heroic resistance earlier today.

Because that's what their President effectively did earlier today. I suppose having lived under a pack of violent authoritarian shithouses for over fifty years leaves you with a healthy fear of same.

That, allied to guts and good old-fashioned objective cynicism led to today's events.

The Polish. Stubborn, hard-headed bastards. I love 'em.

Statistics? We got 'em!

A comprehensive statistical study earlier today

I was watching the Bullshit Broadcasting Corporation teatime bulletin tonight, and something struck me quite forcibly. If you follow the link, and read the article, according to BBC/ICM we all simply love the nanny state.

Do you? Do you know anyone who does? Have you actually heard anyone saying "How I wish the government would help me to cut down my drinking/eating/breathing"? I know I haven't.

Nevertheless, these reams of figures keep pouring out telling us how we all feel on everything from same sex marriage to competitive iguana fondling. The fun continued with the ramp-up to today's inevitable suck-fest on the topic of the pub-wrecking smoker ban. CRUK the well-known online poll fixers and general lie vomitorium were first up, claiming that the ban had caused 400,000 people to quit in the last year, and how up to* 14,000 lives would be saved.

How the fuck can they possibly claim that either figure has any scientific validity at all? How in the hell can they possibly know how many people have quit smoking, especially given that the constant vilification and persecution has led people to begin lying about their smoking habits, and why if that's true are tobacco companies reporting increases in sales? It's not all from from foreign expansion people.

The constant in all things today is statistics. Rarely are they challenged, sometimes not even sourced, but there they are. By the ream, by the boatload, raining down on us; purporting to demonstrate anything from the heat death of the universe to the incidence of trenchfoot among basejumping nuns. We are being sold a bill of goods here, and not just us. Our brain dead europoodle masters likewise, and frankly I don't trust most of them to tie their own shoelaces, let alone make complex objective judgements based on diligent research.

On the back of duff statistics we've been peddled global warming, passive smoke and security theatre (after all, that's what we want isn't it?). Why the hell should we allow this state of affairs to continue? I'm not saying gag the liars, merely disarm them. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I give you:

The Presentation of Statistical Data (Prevention of Misuse) Bill 2011.

My suggestion for one of the first Libertarian White Papers. Wherein, after we've consulted the best statisticians we can find, we tighten up on the use of statistics in public policy formulation. At the very least, whenever statistics are used they should quote how the sample was taken, from where, what size sample etc. etc. If they derive from opinion polling, the questions and range of answers should be clearly stated. In short, it should be instantly, abundantly clear even to non-scientists/mathematicians if a statistical claim is valid or pure bullshit, and if it's the latter, then visit severe vengeance on the perpetrators.

I commend this bill to The House, just say no to bullshit.

*I love 'up to', as it clearly includes the figure zero.