Shocked witnesses stood by open mouthed as two terrorists carried out a violent and desperate attack on staff in The Stranger's Bar at the palace of Westminster today.
Without any warning they drew two weapons and ignited them before discharging poisonous fumes indiscriminately around the room. The weapons, known as 'cigarettes' produce a substance on ignition known as 'smoke'. According to informed sources, this 'smoke' is ten million times more deadly than Zyklon B.
All the other people in the room must have been immediately incapacitated or killed, as absolutely no attempt was made to stop or apprehend these inhuman monsters. At the time of writing, they are still thought to be at large. Along with the rest of the fucking crooks.
Deep gratitude to Saint Trixy the Brill...