Monday, September 22, 2008

Drang nach ASH!

A symbol of defiance, earlier today.

Just found this bunch of heroes. All you Tabtroopers get over there to listen to the Kraftwerk style vibe.

Got to love those crazy Deutschlanders, nicht wahr?

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Explication on tap...

Some dialectical refinement may be needed.

The estimable Holbers evinces surprise that a stupid bastard is being stupid.

Holbers wonders why socialists believe that the answer to socialist failure is more and harder socialism.

I heard a lot of this toss from my socialist pals and drinking buddies in the eighties. 'We failed because we weren't socialist enough' was the constant cry, and the vehemence with which this was propounded grew in proportion with the boneheaded lunacy issuing from Foot and other loonies passim.

Well, basically applied socialism works like this:

A man, driving along a road decides that it would be an interesting experiment to plough his car into a brick wall. It's a new, untested concept and so he does this at twenty-five miles per hour.

Net result: The wall is fucked, and the car is off the road for two weeks.

Most people would decide at this point that the experiment was finished. The result was an inoperable car, two weeks on public transport, increased insurance premiums and a buggered wall.

Conclusion: Driving into walls in your car is counter-productive.

However, if we apply the socialist mindset, our hypothetical driver will view the wreckage and loss, and wonder to himself:

"Perhaps that didn't produce a useful outcome because I wasn't going fast enough"

Therefore, the experiment gets repeated, but at forty miles per hour.

Net result: The wall is fucked and the car is a write-off.

Again, anyone rational would lower the boom on this one. Fucked wall, indefinate time on public transport whilst our hero raises the bread for another car and insurance premiums up the wazooly.

Ah, but socialism is a brilliantly successful notion! Onwards and upwards!

If that approach failed, perhaps he was driving into the wall at the wrong angle!

Thus he hits the wall again, at sixty miles per hour, but at an angle of sixty-five degrees.

Net result: Fucked wall, car written off and two months in traction.

And so it will go on. If it's not a problem with speed and angle, it must be the type of wall. If he drove into a drystone, or one made of London stock brick it will produce The Beneficial Outcome he craves. If that fails, it's the type of car or the underpants he's wearing or some other fucking thing.

It can't ever be the simple fact that driving into a wall in a car is a fucking stupid thing to do.

Oh well. You can lead a socialist to water, but they'll never have the common sense to drown themselves. Such is life.

Hang on.

I got that wrong. Bear with me, be patient and read the analogy again, but this time for 'car' read 'someone else's car', and for 'wall' read 'someone else's wall'. This is known as Toynbeeism.

There. That sums it up quite well.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Times flies when you're having fun...

Au voleurs! Dégage les chiens!

All together now!

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday thieving bastard incompetent EU fucks,
Happy birthday to you!

Yes, for the fourteenth year running, the Court of Auditors have refused to sign off on the EU's accounts.

Christ on a bike! Why is this allowed to slide? Year on year on year on bloody year! I was thirty-five the last time these cesspool bottom feeders got a clean bill of fiscal health.

Possibly the fact that the only place I could find any reference to this tragi-comic state of affairs was here may have something to do with it. The MSM are curiously silent.

Plus à change.

Here's a little reminder of where some of your hard-earned dosh finds it's way to...

HT The Last Ditch.

Monday, September 08, 2008

I have met my Nemesis!

Me and my Nemesis earlier today.

At last! I knew my unique style would eventually attract the most ruthless of left-wing intellects to do battle, and I am not disappointed. In response to my use of this image from my last post:

Mac the Knife's tab consultant earlier today.

The magisterial Dirty European Socialist has weighed in with this:

Hi I think smoking makes her look uglier. Why does that make her look sexier? I don't see it myself. Do you fantasise about lighting fire to women!
Is that some fake macho claim that you light fire to women when having sex with them? Rubbish. You are a mad man You want to kill this women.
If she was naked she would be sexier.

The man is a national treasure I tell you! An absolute must read. Go! Go and read now! Every minute you delay is a minute of your life wasted!

Simply staggering...

Doesn't she look well on it? Smoke tabs, you know they make you sooo hot.

Courtesy of Alex Massie, more egregious toss.

"Question 12: Do you believe that more should be done by the Government to reduce exposure to secondhand smoke within private dwellings or in vehicles used primarily for private purposes? If so, what do you think could be done?"

I wonder what response they'll get. Let me think. Hmmmmm....

I know! Clamp down! Clamp down now! It's got to be done for the chiiiiiiiilllllldreeeenn!©

Right. Just for the avoidance of doubt, pass what laws you fucking like. The day you lying, filthy authoritarian fucks start paying my mortgage, you can start making suggestions as to what I do in my own home, likewise my car (in which, as it happens, I don't smoke).

Until then, go and fuck yourselves up the socket. No dice.

HT Mr. Eugenides.

And there's more...

Schnell Sarkozy! More barbed wire! Macht los!

The stupendous and essential Christopher Booker had this to say...

To address our looming energy crisis with the urgency it calls for, we would not only have to ignore the fantasies of Mr Hansen and the green lobby, but also directly confront our government in Brussels, which stands in the way of almost every measure we need to take. In this sense, in terms of what it will cost us, energy looks to become the defining issue of our EU membership

I sincerely hope so. Finally an issue that may deliver sufficient public impact to haul the whole rotten edifice that is the EU out from under it's rock* and into the public domain.

The looming energy crisis may throw the unconscionable stupidity/cupidity/insanity of this monstrous crypto-empire into sufficiently sharp relief to render even the BBC and MSM powerless to spin it into obscurity.

It'll have to be during the hours of daylight however, as otherwise there may not be sufficient light to see it.

*Hopelessly mixed metaphor. So sue me.

HT EU Referendum.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

And now, the news in brief...

Continued innovation, earlier today.

Over at Nation of Shopkeepers an excellant summary on the State of Play.

Your body will belong to the state, perhaps even in death. The state will use huge resources and violence to ensure that you comply with this dictat. Your thoughts and speech will be policed, and you may well be screened for crimes they think you may commit in future ~ perhaps ones you have not even thought of yet. Don’t worry, they only have your best interests at heart.

Sharp and concise. I thoroughly recommend it.

Sometimes words simply fail me...

The sort of stupid trivia that distracts the MOD from it's higher priorities.

I read here that the MOD, hereafter known as the Ministry Of Dickholding is engaging with PETA to get rid of the traditional bearskins worn by Regiments of HM Foot Guards.


Peta is proposing a new shape is adopted and has approached designers including Vivienne Westwood, Stella McCartney and Marc Bouwer

Super darling, absolutely fabulous!

Robbie LeBlanc, Peta's director for Europe said: "We can still have very regal looking guards who look fantastic.

"We felt doing this kind of thing was a way of keeping with the times and keeping that iconic status.

Did you sweetie? I'm sure they'll look scrumptious, simply to die for!

Where do I start? Oh yes. Look Robbie love, bearskins aren't a fashion statement, they're an integral part of Guards tradition. The bearskin dates back to Waterloo, when the 1st. Regiment of Foot Guards repulsed Bonaparte's Old Guard. They adopted the bearskin then, believing they had defeated the Grenadiers of the Old Guard, when in fact they had beaten off and routed the Chasseurs of the Guard.

Things like that matter in the British Army. They matter a lot, that's why their colours have all those funny foreign sounding names embroidered on them.

Some funny, foreign sounding embroidered names, earlier today.

It's called tradition and it's part of the glue that holds these formations together. Yes, they fight primarily for their mates, but they also go those terrible, grinding, sometimes fatal extra miles because their Regimental tradition informs their every waking hour. It's one of the reasons why they stand ready to die if needs be, for all of us. Yes, even you Robbie, you nauseating, self-regarding shallow wankshaft.

So just fuck off back to whichever wine bar you crawled out of and tell Vivienne Westwood, Stella McCartney and Marc Bouwer that this commission won't require their services. The only commission that carries any weight in the BA is the one bestowed by HM via RMAS.

As for the MOD, I realise that I'm very outdated not having set foot through the gates of Sandhurst since 1975, but I seem to recall that it's supposed to have more practical concerns. Silly little things I know, like procuring proper kit that works.

You know the sort of thing, application specific vehicles, body armour, ammunition that fires; that sort of tedious, unglamorous bollocks.

Instead, what are they doing? Entertaining misanthropic bungholes like Robbie LeBlanc, to dismantle yet another fundamental of our premier regiments, and replace it with 'a new shape'.

To paraphrase Al Pacino in 'Scent of a Woman',

If I were twenty years younger, I'd take a FLAMETHROWER to this fucking place!

Might I suggest that if your highest priority, when our armed forces are committed in two theatres of combat, is saving the ickle pwitty animules, that you are in the wrong fucking job.

Get out, go home, fuck off, join Greenpeace, just do something else. Go where your pathetic NuLabour drivelling will meet with a sympathetic hearing. Do what ever your fucking pathetic, threadbare excuse for a conscience tells you to do, but leave our armed forces alone, and make way for people who care about them and their families. Perhaps even people who care about the defence of the Realm. This is no time for stupid mewling emotional inadequates to hold sway over anything this important.

Just to recap:


...needs this.

Monday, September 01, 2008

I keep doing these bloody things...

62% Geek

Created by OnePlusYou - Online Dating Site


HT Counting Cats, Obnoxio, and all the rest of you with too much time on your fucking hands. *sighs*