The sort of stupid trivia that distracts the MOD from it's higher priorities.
I read here that the MOD, hereafter known as the Ministry Of Dickholding is engaging with PETA to get rid of the traditional bearskins worn by Regiments of HM Foot Guards.
Peta is proposing a new shape is adopted and has approached designers including Vivienne Westwood, Stella McCartney and Marc Bouwer
Super darling, absolutely fabulous!
Robbie LeBlanc, Peta's director for Europe said: "We can still have very regal looking guards who look fantastic.
"We felt doing this kind of thing was a way of keeping with the times and keeping that iconic status.
Did you sweetie? I'm sure they'll look scrumptious, simply to die for!
Where do I start? Oh yes. Look Robbie love, bearskins aren't a fashion statement, they're an integral part of Guards tradition. The bearskin dates back to Waterloo, when the 1st. Regiment of Foot Guards repulsed Bonaparte's Old Guard. They adopted the bearskin then, believing they had defeated the Grenadiers of the Old Guard, when in fact they had beaten off and routed the Chasseurs of the Guard.
Things like that matter in the British Army. They matter a lot, that's why their colours have all those funny foreign sounding names embroidered on them.
Some funny, foreign sounding embroidered names, earlier today.
It's called tradition and it's part of the glue that holds these formations together. Yes, they fight primarily for their mates, but they also go those terrible, grinding, sometimes fatal extra miles because their Regimental tradition informs their every waking hour. It's one of the reasons why they stand ready to die if needs be, for all of us. Yes, even you Robbie, you nauseating, self-regarding shallow wankshaft.
So just fuck off back to whichever wine bar you crawled out of and tell Vivienne Westwood, Stella McCartney and Marc Bouwer that this commission won't require their services. The only commission that carries any weight in the BA is the one bestowed by HM via RMAS.
As for the MOD, I realise that I'm very outdated not having set foot through the gates of Sandhurst since 1975, but I seem to recall that it's supposed to have more practical concerns. Silly little things I know, like procuring proper kit that works.
You know the sort of thing, application specific vehicles, body armour, ammunition that fires; that sort of tedious, unglamorous bollocks.
Instead, what are they doing? Entertaining misanthropic bungholes like Robbie LeBlanc, to dismantle yet another fundamental of our premier regiments, and replace it with 'a new shape'.
To paraphrase Al Pacino in 'Scent of a Woman',
If I were twenty years younger, I'd take a FLAMETHROWER to this fucking place!
Might I suggest that if your highest priority, when our armed forces are committed in two theatres of combat, is saving the ickle pwitty animules, that you are in the wrong fucking job.
Get out, go home, fuck off, join Greenpeace, just do something else. Go where your pathetic NuLabour drivelling will meet with a sympathetic hearing. Do what ever your fucking pathetic, threadbare excuse for a conscience tells you to do, but leave our armed forces alone, and make way for people who care about them and their families. Perhaps even people who care about the defence of the Realm. This is no time for stupid mewling emotional inadequates to hold sway over anything this important.
Just to recap: