Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Of Openings and Things...

The Upper Chamber in a Constitutionally bearable state, earlier today...

Following the thrills, chills and spills of a twelve-hour night shift, I decided to watch the State Opening of Parliament this morning.

I suppose it was much as I expected. BBC/Nu-Labour waffle from the usual suspects, followed by the arrival of HM and her supporting cast.

What I wasn't fully prepared for was the feeling of numb despair and fatigue that enfolded me like a clammy, piss-soaked horse blanket for the duration of the proceedings.

The camera panned around the Upper House, and I found myself sighing at the endless parade of failures, halfwits, crooks and nonentities filling the chamber. From the toad-like incompetent Lamont to the scheming bladder of festering shit that is 'Lord' Mandelson.

When HM arrived I felt crushed under the conviction that she may as well have been paddled across a septic tank in a rubber dinghy as make progress into that place. I was overtaken by the miserable realisation of the sheer hollow pointlessness of the whole circus.

The relentless blathering of Huw Edwards with it's flatulent cargo of meaningless platitudes about democracy, sovereignty and the rest simply served to throw into sharp relief how our most cherished institutions have been devalued to the point of meaninglessness.

The sight of that arch-cretin Martin, trailing the risible Serjeant at Arms in his wake (an individual who reminded me of nothing so much as the Mekon with a terracotta paintjob and a bad wig), the whole sewer full of elected shite following on was an image of arse-clenching infuriation.

As for the speech? I retained sufficient will to listen to it, and fortunately the current raft of crises served to partially plug Nu-Labour's legislative cloaca, restricting them to a mere eleven bills. Needless to say, elementary decoding allowed me to foresee still more tax-payer's money being hosed at bullshit something-must-be-done initiatives, with a rich topping of miserablist neo-puritan strangulation of any human happiness.

The Ship of State is riddled with teredo, and I don't know how the timbers can be renewed.

Another year and a half of this? Shoot me now. Just get it over with.


It was fifteen pieces of twattery. I suspect I blanked out four bits while in the grip of Peri-Traumatic Stress disorder.


The Penguin said...

Very nicely put.

The Penguin

Mark Wadsworth said...

But did Her Maj read the speech in comedy mode? Last year (or maybe the year before) she went for deadpan with exasperated pauses before the particularly fuckwitted meaningless bits of drivel (as if she had to read them twice to confirm just how fucking stupid it was, before taking a deep breath and reading it out loud). It was quite funny.

Mac the Knife said...

TP: Ta very much. I calls 'em as I see 'em... :)

MW: I got the distinct impression she was going for the speed record, I suspect given half the chance she wouldn't have bothered to sit down...

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