Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Not Qualified Eh? Gosh, That's a Shock

If I'd needed another reason, here it came














As I'm currently immured in the depths of the NHS at the moment, trying to get to grips with this infernally complicated standing up and walking around malarkey, I'm not as well informed as I otherwise might be. Mum the Knife popped in to see me this afternoon, and before I fell into the hands of Lucy the Occupational Terrorist she mentioned that the Olympics had attracted the attention of R4's 'You and Yours' programme. She didn't dwell on the topic as she had to bring me up to date and how insane the cats are and other hard news, but needless to say I pricked up my ears. if what she said was true, this is potentially quite explosive.

Accordingly, I had a sniff around the online editions of the DTP and guess what? Not a dicky. A little more digging however, unearthed this, courtesy of Building magazine...

Investigation into £160m overspend forces LDA chief executive to admit employee lacked formal qualification

The accountant ultimately responsible for the London Development Agency's Olympic budget was unqualified, it emerged today.


Fucking what?!

Harvey McGrath, chair of the LDA and Sir Peter Rogers, chief executive of the LDA faced questions over how the Agency had allowed an extra spend of nearly £160m on costs without anyone noticing


Probably because it's a fucking QuANGO, stuffed with the also-rans and never-weres of the pond-slime collectively known as Noo-Laybuh - just guessing you understand.

Members from the London Assembly Economic Development, Culture, Sport and Tourism committee demanded to know why the agency's accountants had failed to spot the overspend.

The LDA admitted of the two accountants employed to check the accounts, only one was formally qualified. This one reportedly looked after “day-to-day” accounts, the LDA said, while the £1.1bn Olympic budget was ultimately governed by an unqualified accountant


Oh well, what's 1.1bn quid these days eh? Not as though it's real money eh? Oh, wait a minute. Yes it fucking well is!

The LDA also confessed a series of programmes it had been hoping to fund, would now face severe cuts.

This included funding for the Visit London tourist programme, which the LDA said would be cut by £4m this year. The London Pavilion due to be built in Shanghai, will also now no longer be possible, the LDA said


So this particular cloud has something approximating a silver lining, but achieved at one fuck of a cost.

I knew this gang of half-arsed braindead walrustitties would fuck things up, but this has overshot my wildest imaginings.

"You'll be administering a budget of 1.1bn pounds of public money, what are your qualifications?"

"Eh?"

"Qualifications. Are you an accountant for example?"

"Dunno"

"Oh well, never mind, I've got a luncheon appointment to get to. Here's a London 2012 biro, you'll need it to sign all those cheques. Toodle-oo"

*Door slams, limo guns away into the traffic*

"I've just come in my pants"

I have a sick sensation that tells me this is just the tip of the iceberg. If they fucked up on this scale, over something so fundamentally fucking obvious to even the most limited intelligence, what else have they done? Or not.

5 comments:

The Filthy Engineer said...

My daughter who is nearly qualified, was apalled by this. There is no way her firm would have left it unchecked by a senior member of her firm.

These accountants probably came in with the lowest tender.

Anonymous said...

As far as I'm aware, anyone can call themselves an accountant, regardless of qualifications.

A chartered accountant is a different kettle of fish.

Which means these dozy ****s didn't care enough to bother checking.

Snowolf said...

A shame, because I'm looking forward to the London Olympics.

No. Really I am. There's something magical about the roar of the crowd under shimmering floodlights that always gets my pulse racing.

I'd love to get a ticket for a day or two in the main stadium for the athletics.

The only problem is that security is going to be tighter than the proverbial duck's, that's going to be really tiresome.

However, as you say, every cloud has a silver lining, and I can't wait to see what the Met do when all those blacks, Asians and south Americans start running. . .

James Higham said...

Classic - the unqualified. Is Brown actually qualified to be PM?

Mac the Knife said...

It was a genuine head-in-hands moment...