Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Speeding Up 'Digestive Transit'

But Asif, this works just as well, and it's so much quieter







I have frequently suggested that members of Al Quaeda should stuff various objects up their hoops, and at least one member of that singularly deranged fraternity took my suggestion to heart.



Watch CBS News Videos Online

No fucking way that boy was getting any. Wonder how the recruiter sold him the deal?

What a monumental tool.

Hasn't anyone told them how much blast a human body can absorb? Why do they think people can throw themselves onto grenades to save their comrades? Besides, if he was that constipated there are over-the-counter products to move things through the requisite orifice, rather than through the top of your tiny pointed skull.

I wonder how the commercial would have run...

*Talking head shot of Islamo-birdbrain*

Yeah, I was looking forward to killing the infidel, but I had that bloated, uncomfortable feeling, you know?

Then Mohammed Latif said "Why don't you try jamming a pound of Semtex™ and a cellphone up your hole?"

I was sceptical at first, but then I thought, 'What have I got to lose?', so I gave it a fair try, and now I'm smeared up a wall in Riyadh.



I hope when he gets to paradise the 72 virgins just giggle and mock his tiny penis.

Although the last laugh may be on us when Security Comedy Theatre devises a port-based response... *shudders*

6 comments:

banned said...

Gives the phrase " bum bandit " a whole new meaning.

Mac the Knife said...

Banned: Quite the catarsetrophe I would've said...

Kate said...

Well there is something you don't see everyday.....

James Higham said...

I hope the 72 virgins are all 101 years old.

Mac the Knife said...

Kate: Unless you live on Tottenham Court Road...

James: Or they find out the 'Family Guy' interpretation of the Koran is accurate...

Kate said...

Mac I am actually in that area on a daily basis. Must start looking around more

K x