I May Be Some Time...

I wonder where that fishy went...

I'm away to the Chamber of Horrors (a certain NHS hospital) for a week for some intensive physical therapy.

Assuming I survive, I'll be in circulation next weekend. Have fun, and don't do anything too naughty until I get back.

PS: I've marked the labels in the booze cabinet, so don't.

I Cannot Stand Idly By

Just when you thought it was safe to fire up your browser, Ya Man's back on the plot. Not only that, but he's the victim of a terrible conspiracy.

He has called upon the Blogosphere, and the Blogosphere will answer!



I'm with you Twenty! Together we'll break the bastards.

So, Just Why Do They Say These Things? Part Three

No Happiness Suckers! Logo earlier today

In parts one and two of this little opus, I fisked these two unconscionable twats, and addressed the increasing politicisation of the medical establishment and health 'professionals' in general.

Fisking is something I rarely do, if only because there are other bloggers who do the whole job far better, but I made an exception in this case owing to the fact that I'm getting really pissed off with these people.

What really strikes me these days is the sheer boneheaded illogicality of their whole position. Every one of their infuriating, intrusive and prescriptive initiatives is designed with one end in mind, to prolong our existence.

On the one hand, we're told that we face a demographic time bomb and that for the first time the number of people over the age of sixty-five outnumbers those below the age of sixteen, that we need to brace for an explosion in the incidence of dementia, and that cancer rates are rising steadily despite all their myriad interventionist strategies. On the other we are exhorted to do everything we can to prolong our existence.

I say exhorted, but matters have progressed way beyond mere encouragement. Now a ceaseless barrage of legislation and propaganda assails every sense, every day, all day. The only surcease comes when we sleep, but I'm sure some restless NuLabour apparatchik has read their Huxley, and enforced 'education' is on it's merry way.

Why, if the NHS is at breaking point, our elderly care service is shuddering towards collapse, and our pensions system is dying on it's arse, are we being corralled into this brainless stampede toward longevity as an end in and of itself?

What, exactly is the logic underpinning extending existence, when all that awaits are the diseases and indignities that inevitably accompany old-age? When every authority acknowledges that the resources to manage an aging population simply aren't there, why are they hell-bent on expanding that very same population?

I've no answer to that question. I personally think every single one of them has gone completely out of their tiny little minds.

The medics? Well. I can't help wondering when exactly they lost their critical faculties to the extent that can't differentiate any more between simple existence, and life as I understand the term.

Endlessly grinding on in some buddhist manqué exercise in self denial, for the privilege of paying ever more numerous and inventive taxes holds limited appeal for me. I got myself crippled very nicely thank you in an industrial accident in 1978, in the last few years I've gone still further down the nick and I take what pleasures I have left very seriously indeed, believe you me. Unfortunately, my pleasures now conflict with what our masters think I ought to like, and that's made a bit of a mess of things.

I know I'm not alone in feeling that these interfering fucks need to be shown the door, the Man on the Nag encapsulates it all quite pithily thus:

Bottom line here. Doctors should heal the sick. They should not take it upon themselves to tell us how to live our lives and they should not be in the business of making law – if they want to do that, give up the doctoring and stand for parliament

The same message should be tattooed on the foreheads of all denizens of QANGOS, fake charities, pressure groups and every other stripe of 'activist' who know too well how democracy would eat them up and shit them out, but have found various ways to subvert the process.

There's a Warm Glow in my Ashtray Tonight...

I'd invite The Man from Ceos to offer this chap one of his legendary coconuts...



...but to utter such heresy in the land of NuLabour indicates that he has a big hairy pair of his own.

Thank you Sir.

HT Taking Liberties.

Horse(back) Sense...

From the man on the nag:

No, no, no. Atheism is a lack of belief in gods. It is not – despite what the righteous might try to say – a belief system or a religion. It is a lack of belief. Nothing more, nothing less. Let them get away with this, and another word will be lost in the same way that “liberal” became usurped and twisted into its exact opposite. We must not allow them to steal our language. That is how they steal our liberty.

Just so. As is usual with my saddle-sore colleague, if you don't read the rest you're cheating yourself.

Out of the Mouth of Clowns...

The Clown, earlier today.

Seen earlier at Maison Coco:

When I'm with my friends, we compete to find the most outrageous and offensive things to call each other. We impugn each other's sexuality, parentage and character in ways that would probably make Harriet Harman explode.

As do most of us I suppose. A large number of my circle of friends are ex-armed forces, so insulting us is a largely redundant pastime. We've all been worked over by real professionals, and are now impermeable to anything less than light artillery.

However, there are other games to play...


A lorra, lorra filth...

Back in the day, before proceeding to the pub, my mates and I would watch this steaming heap of Mandelson when it was compered by Cilla. We played a little game, wherein we had to come up with the three most hideous and outrageous questions a contestant could ask the damsel du jour.

Oh, we came up with some corkers. Feel free to play in the comments section, don't be shy.

Bragging rights to the winner...

If You Watch Nothing Else This Month...

Watch this...



Courtesy of HSM.

This Just In...

Courtesy of the remarkably creative Lawson Narse...


Extracted from Mrs. Beeton's 'The Complete Sausage-Jockey'

So, Just Why Do They Say These Things? Part Two.

"I'm a Libertarian by nature"


I've been waiting for a while to air this one, as I feel it's an observation that needs making. All I lacked was a suitable topic to segué in with. Professor Maryon-Davis obliged very nicely.

Recent history is replete with examples of one very deeply repugnant tendency. That of medical establishments (that is to say the upper-echelons of the profession) to gravitate to the nastiest, cruellest, most morally bankrupt of political and/or governmental philosophies.

From the charming alumni of the SS Medical School at Alte Reise, to the Soviet medics working the psychiatric hospitals, keeping their charges whacked out on Triftazine it's the usual suspects.

What is it about people who (theoretically) start off wanting to heal and better the condition of humanity that they end up in a diametrically opposed position?

Doctors in my experience (and I have a lot of it), are imbued with an acute sense of entitlement. Why shouldn't they be? After decades of gruelling study, and a post-graduate regime that appears to owe more to Tom Brown's Schooldays than to Casualty, who the hell wouldn't? It's one profession that I unequivocally defer to as deserving every reward that society can bestow on them.

There are however, as I see it, two crumbs in the lemonade. Firstly, the profession has a bad habit of admitting some individuals who, while possessing the requisite scientific and academic attributes are fundamentally stupid emotionally. Which is to say, they are possibly callous, venal, contemptuous of others and so lacking in empathy that I wouldn't entrust them with the care of a potted cactus, leave alone a human being.

The second, which is a little more complex is that Doctor's regard used to derive from the community of which they were a part. They were automatically respected and deferred to, and as a result were integral pillars of society by virtue of joining the club.

The development of the NHS has fundamentally altered the balance of that relationship, and as it has careered onwards, expanding into an unmanageable empire the situation has worsened. Nu-Labour's deeply unpleasant and poisonous need to politicise every organisation with which they interact has exacerbated matters still further.

As senior members of the profession derive more and more of their patronage from the state, and are increasingly exposed to our revolting political class, they seem to absorb more and more of their repellant characteristics. When mixed with the sort of intellectual hubris endemic among some senior medics we see the development of a very dangerous pathology.

Some medics you see, believe that their achievements not only qualify them for the highest benefits befitting higher professionals, but that they confer on them some form of intellectual and moral apotheosis; to the point where they feel themselves utterly superior to us ordinary mortals (the Consultant system may play a rôle in this, and I may return to it later), with the inevitable consequence that they view the general public almost as herd animals.

This would explain their Nazi and Soviet counterparts, where professional detachment mutates into absolute indifference to and contempt for those who do not belong/conform/comply. In short, hubris + politicisation = Maryon-Davis et al.

Normal, real Doctors in the Dr. Rant and Dr. Crippen mould don't seem to feel the need to behave like god's anointed, and confine themselves to stupid old fashioned things like... Oh, treating the sick and giving advice. Super-inflated bullshit factories cum proto-fascists like Maryon-Davis, Donaldson and the rest of them long, long ago discarded such antedeluvian wank for more enjoyable and dare I say it, profitable activities.

At the height of the Roman Empire, victorious generals were granted a formal Triumph to parade their troops and spoils of war through the streets of the capital. Throughout the procession, a slave would stand at their shoulder, periodically whispering "Remember thou art but mortal" to them, to avert the jealous anger of the gods.

Perhaps normal Doctors could set aside a couple of hours a month to seek out one or more of these evil-minded, didactic fuckers; ram a cattle prod up their socket and as they key the switch whisper "Be a Doctor, not a cunt" in their ears.

Just a thought.

So, Just Why Do They Say These Things? Part One.

Professor Alan Maryon-Davis, 'Libertarian' earlier today...

This, has attracted the attention of quite a few of the big guns, and rightly so.

Between this arrogant cock-slot and his soul-mate, Liam, I don't know which to strangle/shoot/eloctrocute/immolate first.

Apparently, we're all dying to have our little bottoms spanked by Nanny, because we can't act in our own best interests. Despite all the endless bitching, nagging and hectoring; some of us (quiet at the back!) still insist on drinking, smoking and eating largely what we like. Curse those stupid proles and their evil new-fangled 'free will', this has got to stop!

On the contrary, there's plenty of evidence that people want to see the government doing more to help us avoid big killers like heart disease, stroke and cancer

Not from where I'm standing Al. All I hear from everyone I know is variations on the theme of "Will they ever fuck off and leave us alone", and it's not always me leading the chorus either.

I see an increasing acceptance that we, all of us, need not only more information and guidance from government, but also more legislation to save us from ourselves

Where? Where the fuck do you see anything that equates to how Joe Soap feels about anything at all?

And to my mind the really shining example of how far the public have come in accepting laws to help protect us from self-harm is the huge support for smoke-free public spaces and workplaces throughout the UK

That'll be the support that's destroyed the livelihoods of thousands of publicans, their staff and suppliers since July 2007 then? The support for this measure lives solely in the febrile imaginations of professional dick-holders like you and your fellow travellers. The havoc in the hospitality industry depicts the reality.

This has already saved many lives and will, I believe, prove to be the greatest step forward in public health since the birth of the NHS.

Evidence? Nah, thought not.

But it was ordinary people who really tipped the balance to change the law. It was the steady shift in public opinion that gave legislators the courage. It proved that we, the people, can have a powerful influence on the way laws can be made on our behalf.

I strongly believe we should exercise that influence much more

It was filthy lie-factories like this one, bloated on taxpayers cash and hand-in-glove with special interest groups and corporate agendas, given unfettered access to an uncritical media you mean.

We need a big stick to curb the worst excesses of the various commercial interests who shape our lifestyle

Yes we do, a very big stick. Then we can ram it right up your socket. Sideways.

This is not 'nannying'. This is responsible government acting on behalf of a consenting public

How the fuck would you know? Leave alone the fucking government. The only people they don't listen to comprise the general public. The rest of the time they, and the 'opposition' listen either to groups of arse-creepers who can be guaranteed to come up with the right answer, or misanthropic single-issue dilletantes like this self-propelled heap of bumwad.

Campaigns, guidelines and voluntary codes aren't enough. We need more laws to ensure that the world in which we live, work and play will help promote and protect our health

Yep. It's those dimwitted neanderthals spending their money on what they want, and using their free time to do what they want again. What unutterable bastards eh?

The cherry on this wholly disagreeable bun came quite early in his diatribe on the Toady programme, when he prefixed his fascist twaddle with:

"I'm a Libertarian by nature"

Utterly priceless. I'll just run this through the Mac the Knife Horseshite Translation System®...

I'm a Libertarian where it concerns me and people who think just like me. We'll kick the serfs into touch, and then we'll go on living like Mughal emperors off the public tit. I'm sure the drones will be much happier rooting around for whatever swill we permit them in their little sties. They'll live years longer, and keep generating taxes for me and people like me to keep spunking away devising ways to make them even more miserable. Another bottle of Veuve-Cliquot '76 Torquil?

I love these people, I really, really do.

HT The Englishman

I Had To...

A bus, earlier today

Who could resist? Herein, Resistance actually is useless!

HT: Mr. E