The Chair of the HOC Science and Technology Committee, earlier today.
So, the House of Commons Science and Technology Committee (eh?) has recommended that we benighted gin-sodden proles abstain from the Demon Drink for two days a week.
I don't know about anyone else, but currently the biggest threat to my wellbeing is massively elevated blood-pressure engendered by the endless conga line of nannying, authoritarian, neo-puritan strap-ons presuming they have a right to poke their noses into every corner of my private life.
Tell you what, you unconscionable pack of arseholes, try leading from the front for a refreshing change, perhaps by:
1: Auctioning the entire contents of the Palace of Westminster wine cellars and donating the proceeds to SSAFA and/or the RBL.
2: Removing the £6+ million quid subsidy you (literally) piss up the wall annually in subsidising your bars and restaurants so that you too can enjoy the full benefits of minimum pricing per (ho ho) unit of alcohol.
When you ballbags start walking the walk, I might review my policy of ignoring every bloody word you say, but I make no promises.
Oh, and fuck the lot of you. Twice.